Lately has been a time of training for me and the kids. Funny to say that when Mikah, the youngest, is 8-1/2, but all of us — me included — have some habits to break. So a couple times a day, we have these trainings, where we have a set amount of things to accomplish (usually chores) and we all practice being cheerful, obedient, kind, focused and thorough. I am doing this on the advice of a friend, to help us get in a different groove with our thinking and how we approach life and responsibilities.
Those who are not so good on living up to expectations receive consequences. So far, these consequences are additional chores, like dish duty all the next day. But my friend also suggested physical activity for a consequence, such as running the perimeter of our property or doing 10 push-ups. I haven’t given out any of those consequences yet, because I don’t think I can do it with a straight face.
I have a terrible problem. I tend to smile during discipline. Not because I’m enjoying it, but because I love my children. It makes discipline very hard to achieve. That’s why I’ve grabbed on to this idea of training sessions.
When it isn’t the heat of the moment (ie. mom or child is upset), we can set a new pattern for behavior. How to respond when Mom asks a child to do a task. How Mom responds when the child does not respond cheerfully or obediently.
We all have things to learn. I do not want to be a bad Mom. I do not want my children to be irresponsible or lazy. With God’s help, we will overcome our sinful natures and be good stewards in the life God fashions for us.
What do you do when bad habits or patterns creep in?
I love this post/subject Wardeh, we all need to push ourselves to do better. I like the idea of consequences. It was so much easier when my kids were younger…. I need to be diligent with consequences once again – thanks for the reminder!
The personal struggle I have is that I don’t want to make/use chores as punishment, because I don’t want them viewed that way. I wanted life viewed as a series of things that need done, some we like more than others, but doing them all brings benefits. But my method of not using chores as punishment hasn’t been the perfect solution either – I’m open to new ideas and encouragement.
One thing I’ve found that does work in a huge way is ‘community service’ as punishment. And the assigning ‘working with others’ as part of community service. For example my daughter snaps at her handicapped brother – her punishment then is she has to work with him, in a management roll, to clean his room. This involves patience, understanding how he thinks/works, and positive reinforcement. This process breads compassion in her and their relationship is greatly improved for a long time. After this I find her choosing to read to him, or do some other activity with him. It reconnects her with person that is her brother.
Jami
Jami — Great thoughts! I hear you on confusing discipline with chores. I guess how I view it though as these trainings are not only to teach responsibility but cheerfulness and one of the greatest ways for us to practice that is through our chores.
I love what you do with your son and daughter. I have seen that in my own children now and then and it blesses my socks off to see them helping each other!
Love, Wardeh
I think once you decide to change, REALLY decide. Then you will be given the help you need. Of course you have to ask for our Saviors help, but He will give you ideas, or send someone into your life, or you will remember something you had forgotten. Whatever the case may be, we just have to become aware of these gifts and blessings.
For example, I have never been great or even good at getting up EARLY in the morning. This is something that bothers me and something I have wanted to improve on for some time. Yet, I still didn’t have the “umph” it took to get up at 5am. My husband and I started taking a business/personal improvement class. One of the things that they teach is to do what they call a “Power Hour.” This entails getting up early, exercise, meditation, prayer and scripture study. This was exactly the thing I needed in my life to get me out of bed at 5am. I am not perfect at it, but it has greatly blessed my life already.
Tiffany ~ you are so right! The Lord is able to supply all our needs. Having His character is something He desires for us, so we know that He will help us get there.
I love hearing about your productive mornings! What an inspiration. I get up at 5 am, but I go from the kitchen to the computer to the kitchen to the schoolroom and I’m lucky if I get to fit in reading time and exercise. (Even a shower!) I would love to fit in a Power Hour somehow. Thanks for adding to this discussion!
I am greatly encouraged by sharing our experiences with each other.
Love, Wardeh
That’s a really good idea. And this fits in with modeling behavior for our children.
Good stuff!
As for what I do with my bad habits?
Umm… I don’t know. I haven’t figure out what to do about it yet, so maybe this will spark some ideas.
~Luke