Such Treasures

I first read Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen when I was a teenager and I've read it at least once a year since then. Where I'm reading now, Elizabeth's feelings toward Mr. Darcy are changing. She's grateful to him for his continued regard for her, in spite of her harsh rejection of his first proposal of marriage. I love this sweet portion of the book, found at the end of Chapter XLIV.

But above all, above respect and esteem, there was a motive within her of good will which could not be overlooked. It was gratitude — Gratitude, not merely for having once loved her, but for loving her still well enough, to forgive all the petulance and acrimony of her manner in rejecting him, and all the unjust accusations accompanying her rejection. He who, she had been persuaded, would avoid her as his greatest enemy, seemed, … most eager to preserve the acquaintance, and without any indelicate display of regard, or any peculiarity of manner, where their two selves only were concerned, was soliciting the good opinion of her friends, and bent on making her known to his sister. Such a change in a man of so much pride, excited not only astonishment but gratitude — for to love, ardent love, it must be attributed; and as such its impression on her was of a sort to be encouraged, as by no means unpleasing, though it could not be exactly defined. She respected, she esteemed, she was grateful to him, she felt a real interest in his welfare; and she only wanted to know how far she wished that welfare to depend upon herself, and how far it would be for the happiness of both that she should employ the power, which her fancy told her she still possessed, of bringing on the renewal of his addresses.

I am imagining Elizabeth — having harshly rejected and unjustly accused a man who admires her — finding out that he bears no resentment and wishes to retain her acquaintance. I would be extremely grateful if I were Elizabeth Bennet. The same sweet emotions of wonder, amazement and gratitude fill my heart each time I read this section.

Elizabeth's emotions remind me to be grateful for the people in my life who love me. I feel gratitude toward my friends, who bear with me even though I fumble my words and quite frequently put my foot in my mouth. I am grateful for my children, who think I am the greatest mom in the world, even though I'm not. I am grateful for my husband, who loves me and cherishes me in spite of my mistakes, my emotional ups and downs, and my false judgments of him or his motives. I am most thankful to the Lord, who forgives all my sins, even though I am undeserving. He welcomes me into His Kingdom through the gift of salvation that I never will be able to earn.